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              Anonymous

No More Drinks

I Now Start To Heal

This Time I Think

I'll Try To Do The Deal

I No Longer Remember

The Drink  , My First

It Was So Hard To Quench

My Never Ending Thirst

Empty Bottles Are The Cause

Of My Shattered Dreams

I've Lost The Battle

My Life's As Bad As It Seems

    My Name Is Anonymous

    I Am You - You Are Me

  May We Become Alcohol Free

Without A Drop

Tears Begin To Fall

Without My Old Friend

Without Alcohol

My Battle With The Bottle

Leaves Me Empty Handed

Now I've Taken The First Step

Some May Not Understand It

Temptation Looks Me In The Eyes

For The First Time I Turn Away

I've Said No And Swallowed My Pride

I Like My Life Sober Today

    My Name Is Anonymous

    I Am You - You Are Me

Teach Us To Become Alcohol Free

Please Don't Try To Bring Me Down
Don't Offer Me A Drink
My Life Is Starting To Turn Around
Perhaps Now I'm Sane Enough To Think

This Disease Has No Cure

It Was The Beginning Of Our End

That's Just The Way We Were

Now More Than Ever

We Need Some New Friends

    My Name Is Anonymous

    I Am You - You Are Me

       May We Remain

           Alcohol Free.....

Poet Dude 1991 Or Anonymous


My Name Is Steve And I'm An Alcoholic

These Poems Were Written About My Drunken Travels And Trials In Life
And My Journey Through Self Destruction , Which Eventually Led Me To
The Ever Open Doors Of Alcoholics Anonymous.

My Road To Recovery Was Rocky And Riddled With Relapse , I Just Didn't
Get It. But For The Grace Of God And Lots Of Prayer ,  I've Managed To
Stay Sober For A Few Twenty Four Hours This Time Around , Because I
Finally Learned I Only Have To Do This One Day At A Time , Be Honest And
Pray And Also Participate At Meetings And Not Be A Chair Warmer.

Listening To The People Around The Tables Also Helps Alot , We're Different, Yet
The Same  For We Share A Common Pain ,Our Problem With The Drink , From Which
We Must Abstain.
Basically , My Way Didn't Work ,But This Program Did ,Once I Realized I Had  To Work
The Twelve Steps And Honestly Let Go And Let God.
And Of Course Not Pick Up That First Drink.             Enjoy The Words.......

   In The Beginning

      I Was Blessed With Good Health
       When I Came Into This World
But Through The Teachings Of My Peers
And Society , I Learned To Destroy Myself

The Life Of The Party ,An Alcoholic In My Tenth Year
Anything To Alter My Mind, But I Really Liked The Beer
I Often Pray That Someday I May Have The Strength
To Quit Poisoning Myself On A Daily Basis

My Mind And Body Are Corrupted In Such A Way
That I Can't Sleep Unless I'm Intoxicated Or Falling Down Drunk
I Rarely Feel Well When I Awake, Yet I Continue My Disgrace
Day After Day , Year After Year , All My Life , Beer After Beer

But Don't Talk Down To Me Or Tell Me What You Think
Because I Am The Drunkard And I Need A Drink
I Long To End This Misery , Yet My Self Pity Is Short Lived
I Used To Have Dreams , I Used To Have Goals
I Once Had A Mind , A Heart And A Soul

Anything To Alter My Mind , How Cool Was I
I Can Drink And Drug , I'm So High
The Life Of The Party , How Cool Was I
Now All I Have Left Is Drunkenness
Forever Numbing Myself , I Only Remember To Forget
This Pain I Call My Life , A Life That I Regret........


         ALCOHOLIC

I Can't Resist Temptation
Existing Upon Intoxication
To The Bottle I Fall
My Obsession With Alcohol

No Where Left To Hide
Overflowing With Pride
Nothing Left Inside
Living A Lie

Whiskey In My Blood
My Heart Distilled
My Kidneys Are Mud
My Liver To Be Killed

My Dreams Deceased
Inebriated Thoughts
My Mind Diseased
No Lesson I'm Taught

I Refuse To Stop
I Refuse To Quit
I'm Everything I'm Not
For This Is My Writ......

           One More

I Wake Up Half Past My Mind
As I Drink My First Meal
Is It Something I Hope To Find
Or Something I Conceal

A Six Pack - A Case
A Shot Glass In My Face
I Pick Up The Pace
To Continue My Disgrace

Alcoholic - Is That What I Am
Alcoholic -I Can Still Stand
Alcoholic - I Can Never Say No
Alcoholic - I Just Want One More
One More , One More , One More.........

        ALCOHOLIC
           Part Two

An Endless Hangover
My Morbid Condition
   Over Indulgence
But It's My Decision

A Lifetime I've Missed
Put Me On The Critical List
It Was My Life To Ruin
For I've Started To Soon

A Bottle , A Habit
I've Just Got To Have It
Feed Me More Poison
Feel The Adrenalin Flow

Stripped Of Passion
This Endless Woe
An Often Asked Question
Is The Bottle My Foe

Into The Asylum
My Life's Insane
Back On The Street
I'm Drunk Again

As We Already Know
The Alcohol Commands
The Problem Wasn't In My Head
It Was In My Hand

I Can't Fall Asleep
Until I Pass Out
I'll Have Another Drink
Without A Doubt

I Don't Want To Wake Up
Please Don't Shout
I'm Back In The Asylum
Let Me Out , Let Me Out

Alcoholic , Alcoholic
I Need A Drink
I Need A Shot
I No Longer Think
I've The Will To Stop
It's The Only Peace I Know
I'm Everything  , I'm Not.....

     MY FAMILY HEIR LOOM

The Family Heir Loom In My
Great Grandfathers Hand
He Hands It Down To His Son
And He Does The Same
Generation After Generation
Is It For Me To Abstain

The Son Of That Son
Who I Call My Father
Doesn't Even Care
So I'm Not A Bother

He Doesn't Even Know Me
Does He Know Himself
I Learn As He Shows Me
How He Ruins His Health

A Reflection Of My Parents
At The Bottom Of My Empty Bottle
I Need No Consent
Inconsiderate Of The Consequence

I Know It All
At Least That's My Opinion
A Love Affair With Alcohol
For Drinkings Become An Obsession

In Addition To Addiction
My Inherited Affliction
Alters My Decisions
To Confront Life's Frustrations

The Manner In Which I Display
My Character Is A Re-Run
Like Father , Like Son
Like Father , Like Son

Parental Discretion
Doesn't Help My Affliction
Giving Me Poor Advice
Sharing In My Intoxication
Teaching Me How To Fail

My Ancestors Watch
As I Trace Their Trail......

        HEREDITY

It Was Water Under The Bridge
It Wasn't Long Ago
Now It's A Kettle Above The Fire
As It's Boiling Over , Overflow

Like My Father
And His Father Before Him
I've Fallen Prey
To The Bottle Of My Kin

I Look In The Mirror
A Reflection Of Them
A Face Full Of Fear
Am I Condemned

Heredity ,A Transmission Of Traits
Heredity , A Formation Of Fate

To Relive The Past
As I Live Today
In This Role I've Been Cast
My Life Is A Play

I Follow The Footsteps
Upon An Unfortunate Path
For All To See
Heredity My Wrath......

WITHOUT A DROP

The More I Drink
The Less I Feel
Deeper I Sink
My Pain Never Heals

I'll Always Remember
The Woman , My First
And The Reason I Lost Her
My Never Ending Thirst

I Won't Blame It On A Woman
Or Our Relationships
They Loved Me More Than I Realized
Yet On My Shoulder - A Chip

Without A Drop , My Tears Begin To Fall
Without A Friend , Without Alcohol
Broken Bottles , Broken Dreams
Broken Hearts , Broken Me

I Can Only Blame Myself
I've Ruined My Own Mental Health
I Have No Life, I Have No Future
I Don't Even Know Myself

As I've Lost My Lovers
And All My So Called Friends
I Only Have Myself To Blame
In Drunken Pretense

Without A Drop , My Tears Begin To Fall
Without A Friend , Without Alcohol
Without A Drop , After Years Of Drinking
I'm Trying To Stop This Insanity
But The Ships Still Sinking..........

            AFTER THE RELAPSE

As I Try To Invite Sobriety Back Into My Life
My Dreams Won't Let Me Sleep
For The Nightmares I've Created
In My Memories I Keep

Regrets And Mistakes
Am I Truly Insane
Look At The Mess I've Made
I'm The Cause Of So Much Pain

I Can't Forgive Myself
Can I Really Change
Why Can't I Control Myself
I Don't Want To Be Me Again

My Dreams Are Nightmares
Heaven My Hell
Just To Change
My Soul I'd Sell

Why Me
Why This Disease
Created In My Childhood
Tailor Made , Just For Me

No Reason ,Only Rhyme
I'm Drunk All The Time
My Life Is A Lie
Now It's Time I Draw The Line

The Tears I've Caused
Now Cause Me Pain
Reflecting On My Past
I'd Like To Be Sane

So Now I'll Challenge Myself
To Walk Through Those Doors
And Admit Defeat
As I Had Years Before

I Know I Can't Do It Myself
Perhaps I'll Say A Prayer
So I May Someday Forget This Hell
Yet Remember How I Got There....

  THE BATTLE WITH THE BOTTLE

We Can't Find A Cure
For What We've Become
Wishing This Disease
Could Come Undone

The Wisdom I Receive
At These Tables Is Priceless
I Know I Can't Save Me From Myself
For We All Know That I Am Hopeless

The Battle With The Bottle
May Never Be Over
I Hope Today You're Winning
I Hope Today You're Sober

It's Not As Easy As It Seems
Yet It's Not As Hard As I Thought
As Long As I Keep Showing Up
Some Lesson To Me May Be Taught

I Now Live My Life One Day At A Time
I Just Stay Sober For Today
God Is My Higher Power
Morning And Evening I Kneel Down And Pray

Being Sober Means The World To Me
Drunkenness No Longer My Destiny
Just For Today , I'm Enjoying Sobriety
Let Drunkenness Be A Fading Memory

The Battle With The Bottle
May Never Be Over
I Pray Today We're Winning
I Pray Today We're Sober.....


      NO PEACE

Darkness Fills My Soul
The Morning Sky Is Clouded With Sorrow
My Broken Heart Lies Elsewhere
Perhaps I'll Find It Tomorrow

My Soul Is Screaming For A Drink
My Head Spins
Filled With Torturous  Song
I Live In Sin

Unpleasant Spells Fill The Space
That Used To Be My Mind
My Memories Need To Be Erased
No Peace In This Place Shall I Ever Find

Damn You And I
And This Loveless Curse Of Alcoholism
It's Dealt My Heart and Soul
Wounds I Can No Longer Bear

My Tears Of Vodka
Bring Me Down To A Deep Dark Hole
Drowning In My Drunken Thoughts
For No One To Behold

So What Shall We Do
Drink Ourselves To Death
Perhaps We'll Pass Away
But What Would That Prove

Dying For A Drink
Die With Me
I'll Die With You
For We Are Two Pathetic Fools

Her Words Break The Spirit Within My Drunken Soul
All The Broken Thoughts Of My Betrayal
Tears Of Vodka Run Down My Face
For Our Love Has Failed

Perhaps Our Last Binge Together
Perhaps Our Last Kiss
Toxic Twins Tormented
For Our Love Has Come To This

Trying To Be Sober Again
 For The First Time In Years
My Broken Heart Always Finds Me
I Must Learn To Let Go
Of My Self Inflicted Painful Memories

It's Been Sometime Since I've Seen Her Face
Will The Shadows Of Loves Memory Forever Haunt Me
I No Longer Use Booze To Drown My Sorrow
I've An Empty Head , Lying In An Empty Bed
Perhaps Some Peace I'll Find Tomorrow

A Pale Ghostly Image Dances Within My Mind
Let It Bleed   ,   Let It Be  ,  A Fading Memory
Please , Let Me Find Peace.....

  WELCOME  BACK

All Hope Is Lost
As Is My Mind
Why Can't I Change
Why Am I So Blind

I'm A Truly Broken Man
I've Lost My Sanity
Am I Hopelessly Damned
Could This Be My Destiny

I Long To Be Someone Else
Yet I'm Stuck Being Me
I Need To Be Sober
And Defeat This Disease

Once Again I Lose Control
I Fall Back Into The Hole
Tidal Waves Of Misery
As I'm Drowning In My Sorrow

So Welcome Back To Misery
Welcome Back To Deceit
Welcome Back To The Past
That I Couldn't Defeat....


    SIXTH FLOOR

I Feel As If I've Woken Up
For The First Time In Months
I'm On The Sixth Floor Of Some Hospital
I Thought I'd Be Dead

I Guess Drinking And Drugging
For Ten Days Didn't Work
My Attempt At My End
Let Me Know What Life Was Worth

Is It Really Worth Living
After I've Destroyed Everything In My Path
For All Who Once Loved Me
I've Hurt So Bad

On And On I Go
Repeating The Same Mistakes
Lie After Lie , Beer After Beer
Stever The Deceiver Lives His Life In Fear

Fear Of My Actions After That First Drink
We All Know The Outcome , Deeper I Sink
I Never Learn ,  It's Poison To Me
Why Can't I Stop Feeding My Disease

I Always Feel So Good
After The First Few Days Of Sobriety
Then I Get Swallowed By The World
And Follow The Sick Society

I Need To Erase These Thoughts
I Need To Read The Big Book Again
And Live The Lessons That I'm Taught
Perhaps Find Some New Friends

I Need To Get Back To The Meetings
And Share What's Really On My Mind
Perhaps If I Do This
Sobriety , I May Finally Find.....
Rarely Have We Seen A Person Fail
Who Has THOROUGHLY Followed Our Path........


   THE OLD STEVE MUST DIE

At The End Of My Drinking Carrer
All I Had Left Was A Drink In My Hand
And A Razor To My Wrist
No Home , No Hope , No Wife , No Kids
How Did My Life Come To This

All The Wisdom That Was Offered To Me
Yet My Drinking I Couldn't Stop
All In My Life  , I Gave Away
I Pray I've Drank My Last Drop

Years Of Suffering I Have Caused
The Pain I've Poured Upon My Loved Ones
Cursed Am I With This Disease
If There Is A Next Time
You May Find Me Deceased

Endless Tears I Now Cry
Now The Truth , No More Lies
Everything About The Old Steve Must Die

I Took A Perfectly Decent Woman
To Be My Wife
Turned Her Into A Drunk
And Ruined Our Life

 I've Scars Upon My Soul
From The Hell I've Put Her Through
I Really Did Love Her So
Yet I Just Did What I Wanted To Do

Alcohol Has Destroyed My Entire Life
The Old Steve Must Die
With Or Without His Wife
Either Way , I'll Still Cry

The Pain Is Sometimes To Much To Bear
I Now Know That God Will Forgive Me
But How Can I Forgive Myself
The Old Steve Must Die
And Regain His Mental Health

Yes , The Old Me Must Die
But Not By The Knife
The Old Me Must Die
And Start A New Life

Years Of Insanity
Broken Hearts , Broken Dreams
It Must End Here And Now
The Old Steve Must Die.....
                                  Steve A.

      ALL FOR ALCOHOL

I've Turned My Back On God
Turned Away From Those I Love
Watch Me Fall And Lose It All
          All For Alcohol

A Demon Inside Me
So Much Stronger Than My Self Will
This Anger Within Me
Almost Chose Myself To Kill

Why Can't I Stop This Insanity
I Can't Even Sleep At Night
So I Lie Here And Pray
That I Could Someday Get Myself Right

Thanks To The Program
I'm Trying To Be Honest With Myself
I Try To Stop Lying
And Clean My Mental Health

When Will The Self  Pity End
Can I Ever Forgive Myself
Could I Ever Be A Decent Person Again
For This , My Soul , I'd Sell

This Mental Anguish I Feel
I've Never Felt When Intoxicated
I Just Can't Stop Thinking About It
The Lives I've Devastated

         All For Alcohol
         All For Alcohol
         Watch Me Fall
         And Lose It All
         All For Alcohol

I Used To Talk Myself Into Drinking
I Deceived Myself For Years
It's Just Another Relapse
I'm Only Drinking Beer

I Can No Longer Live Like This
I've Known I Was A Drunk
Since I Was Twelve Years Old
This Chapter Of My Life Is Done
That Book Is Closed

I've Been Tied To The Whipping Post
Mistreated And Abused
Alcohol Kicked My Ass
And Had My Neck In A Noose
All For Alcohol , All For Alcohol
Watch Me Fall And Lose It All
           All For Alcohol...............


Most Of The Above Poetry Was Written While I Was Slipping Through The Program.
The Next Poem Was Written While I Was In  A Rehabilitation Facility. The Faculty
Helped Me To Save Me From Myself , As I Cleared My Mental Health. I  Had To
Re-think And Re-learn How To Work A Program. This Poem Was Written After One
Of The Many Meetings I Attended There (Every Day).  This Poem Was Written On
December 12 2015. It's Been A Few 24 Hours Since Then , I'm Happy To Report
That Some Of The Promises Of The Program Have Come True For Me ,
For I Am The Title To This Poem.........Write On....


SOMEBODY ELSE

I Am My Problem
For Life , I Fear It
I Promised You Failure
For I  Had A Broken Spirit

Change Is A Promise
Broken One To Many Times
These Chains I Bear
I Only Wear In My Mind

I'm Here To Save My Life
Perhaps Save Me From Myself
To Make Some Sense Of My Past
And Clear My Mental Health

I Judge The One I Resent
The Reflection In The Mirror
And In That Presance
A Face Full Of Fear

Long Before It Was A Problem
It Was My Solution
Now I Pray For Abstinance
And My Absolution

Let Me Learn To Be Somebody Else
This Drunk Could Learn Humility
Take Away My Pride And My Problem
Let Me Live Life , As Life Was Meant To Be

I Didn't Want To Be A Drunkard
Yet I Invited My Disease In
I No Longer Long To Suffer
So Let's Let Sobriety Begin

I Humble Myself To My Maker
I Humble Myself To All
Let Me Learn To Be Somebody Else
Let Me Hear Heavens Call

Happiness Unknown For Years
I Was To Obsessed With Myself
No More Sadness , No More Tears
Lord , Help Me Be Somebody Else

I'm Not Cured,  But I Feel Sane
I'm Not Sure , But This Feels Great
I Wake Up With A Clear Conscience
I Even Remember How I Got To Bed

Every Morning I Kneel Down And Pray
To A Higher Power , Who I Call God
Thank You For Helping Me Stay Sober Today
And Not Being A Foolish Sot

The Only Thing I Ask For Myself
Lord ,
Please Help Me Keep Learning To Be
Somebody Else............
                                      Amen....


      OPEN MY MIND

Looking Back Upon My Life
I Wonder How I'm Still Alive
The Insanity That Once Reigned Over Me
Seems To Have Subsided

Yet I Still Can't Forget
Where I Came From
Most Of My Memories
Are Really Bad Deeds
That I Had Once Done

Open My Mind , I'm Trying To Change
Peace I May Find , If I Change My Ways
Lord I Pray , Please Open My Mind
Help Me Be Wise , Open My Eyes
Give Me A Glimpse Of Paradise

My Bad Reputation Could Follow
Me Around The Rest Of My Life
But Only If I Let It

I'm Trying To Change
I'm Someone You Haven't Met
I've Let Go Of The Past
I Now Learn From My Regrets

There's Always Something Better
There's Always Something New
I've Opened Up My Mind
To A Different Point Of View

For The First Time In My Life
I'm Trying To Be The Real Me
For The First Time In My Life
I'm Gonna Follow My Dreams

Whatever I'm Doing , Wherever I'm Going
It Will Be Better Than My Yesterdays
For I Now Understand
That Will Only Happen If I Change My Ways

Open My Mind , I'm Trying To Change
Peace I May Find , If I Change My Ways
Lord I Pray , Please Open My Mind
Teach Me To Be Wise , Open My Eyes

And Who Knows , If I'm Lucky
Perhaps You'll Let Me Live My Life
With You In Paradise , Thank You
For Helping Me Open My Mind......


DIFFERENT ,  YET THE SAME

Different , Yet The Same
Some Say We Were Insane
Let Me Share My Sobriety
Anonymous Is My Name

I Share With You My Peace
And Broken Pieces Of My Life
My Story With You I'll Share
Perhaps Your First Step Tonight

Different , Yet The Same
We Share A Common Pain
Our Problem With The Drink
From Which We Must Abstain

Admit We Were Powerless Over Alcohol
Was All We Had To Do
This Program Saved My Life
Perhaps It Could Save Yours Too

Welcome To The Fellowship
We're Different , Yet The Same
Let's Live In Sobriety
One Day At A Time
Walk With Us Through  The Twelve Steps
A New Design For Living
Soon You Shall Find.......


             THANKS

The Insanity Is Leaving My Mind
Recovery Is Now Within My Spirit
As Long As I Remain In The Presence Of The Lord
I Will Live My Life Instead Of Fear It

Others Have Gone Before Me
They Share With Me Their Peace
I No Longer Need To Suffer
Or Feed My Disease

It's Been A Number Of Days Since I've Had To Pick Up A Drink
I Know Now The Peace Of Letting Go
I Have The Strength To Ask For Help
And Let My True Feelings Show

I'm Living Like I've Never Lived Before
This Program Has Quenched My Thirst
I Hold The Key To Heavens Door
If I Don't Take That Drink ,  The First

I've Never Believed In Miracles
Yet I've Never Had Better Friends
Today I Can Look In The Mirror
Today I Have A Hand To Lend

I've Let Go Of The Past
My Spirits Been Set Free
My Family Around These Tables
Speak To Me Of Their Peace
You Rub Off On Me
For We Share The Same Needs

You Welcomed Me With Open Arms
Invited Me To Live Life With You
One Day At A Time
And I'll Be Forever Grateful
For You And I Are Helping Each Other
Save Each Others Lives......THANKS AA's


   ONE STEP AT A TIME

     A Stairway Of Sand
   Will Take You Nowhere
   Work The Twelve Steps
   Walk Out Of Despair

   I Follow The Path
Of Many A Fallen Sot
For The Lessons I've Been Taught
   I Thought Of Not

Could We Ever Posess
The Gift Of Grace
Could We Ever Confess
Our Every Mistake

Own The Happiness
You Never Thought Could Be Yours
Twelve Simple Steps
They Work If You Work Them
Of This , I'm Sure

   One Step At A Time
   Your Will - Not Mine
   One Day At A Time
  My Lifes's New Design

There's Peace At The Top Of The Stairs
Work The Twelve Simple Steps
Soon , In All Your Affairs
You'll No Longer Have Regrets

Let It Be Peace I Find In The Morning As I Pray
I Ask Of You , Bless Every Step I Take
Be With Me Throughout The Day
Lord , Please Show Me The Way

    The Road To Recovery
      Need Not Be Rocky
         Lord , I Pray
   Don't Let Me Get Cocky

   One Step At A Time
   Your Will - Not Mine
   One Day At A Time
  My Life's New Design

   One Step At A Time
   Your Will - Not Mine
   One Day At A Time
For The Rest Of Our Lives......


NO LONGER LIVE A LIE

How Can I Believe In Myself
When I Feel I'm No Good
I Refuse To Share My Pain
Perhaps I Should

Are All Of My Wondrous Stories
Just A Shattered Dream
Dreaming Of Days Long Passed
And All That Might Have Been

Should I Let Go Of My Dreams
Is My Life Just A Fantasy
Starting Over Again , Fifty Years On
Searching For My Place In Life's Reality

I'm Only As Sick As My Deciet
For I Now Refuse To Live A Lie
I Look At My Life In A Rear View Mirror
And I Start To Cry

I Refuse To Drown In Sorrow
I Protect My Spirit From Harm
I Now Choose To Pray For Tomorrow
And Live In Today's Charm

All Remains The Same
All But I
I No Longer Choose To Live In Shame
I'll No Longer Live A Lie

I Will No Longer Fall Down
For I Now Trust In Faith
I Now Seek Help When I'm About To Drown
For I No Longer Seek Pain

Have I Earned My Freedom
My Bondage Is Only A Drink Away
The Choice Is Now Mine
So I Live For Today

My Higher Power Lights The Way
I've Had A Glimpse Of Freedom
For Peace I Pray
And Thy Kingdom Has Come

I Now Live In Fellowship
I No Longer Wander The Earth Alone
True Friends , Much Like Myself
Trudging A Road To A Happier Destination
No Longer Searching For A Home.....

CAN IT REALLY BE THIS SIMPLE

I'm Getting To Know Myself Again
Who Am I , It Seems I've Forgot
Once At My Wits End
Once A Useless Sot

Can It Really Be This Simple
Just Don't Pick Up A Drink
Change Your Mind
And Start To Think

I've Met Many People Who've Made It Through
They Suggest I Take The Steps
And Seek The Truth
They Said This Was All They Had To Do

I Learn To Live Again
Getting My House In Order
I've Made Some New Friends
I Need To Do This - No Quarter

Being Honest With Myself
Was One Of The Hardest Things I've Ever Done
This May Help My Mental Health
Praying To The Holy One

Can It Really Be This Simple
Just Don't Pick Up A Drink
Change Your Mind
And Start To Think

I Am Grateful Today
For The Reflection In The Mirror Has Changed

Grateful For Every Step I Take
An Attitude Of Grattitude
For A Life Re-Arranged

So For Me It's Back To Basics
A Daily Routine That Works For Me
I Now Embrace My Program
A Gift I Received For Free

I Was Once At War With Myself
When I Should Have Been Seeking Peace
Little Did I Know
Being Honest With Myself Could Set Me Free
Can It Really Be This Simple ???....


REFLECTION UPON ACCEPTANCE


No More Crying A River
Or Drowning My Pain
Like Rust In My Mind
My Memories Stain

Emotions Conflict Science
Are Tears Made Of Pain
Or Are They Falling Water
As The Drops Of Rain

I Was Never At Peace
Why Did I Conceal My Pain
My Memory Never Sleeps
For My Life Was A Masquerade

Reflection Upon Acceptance
For I Must Change
Acceptance Of My Reflection
As I Remove My Mask
And Break The Chains
I Now Accept The Fact
That My Life Must Be Re-Arranged

I Never Knew Who I Was
Always Trying To Be Somebody Else
Such A Miserable Existance
I've Created For Myself

This Somebody Else I Now Long To Be
Lies Somewhere Within My Spirit
I Still Don't Know Who I Am
This New Me , Perhaps I Fear It

The Future Scares Me
My Past Haunts My Soul
The Pain Within Me
Of Which I Never Let Go

On The Surface I Was Strong
Yet My Spirit Was Fragile And Broken
The Face I Wear Is Long
For Feelings Of Pain Were Left Unspoken

Reflection Upon Acceptance
For I Must Change
Acceptance Of My Reflection
I've Now Removed The Mask
And Accepted The Change
Acceptance Of A Life Re-Arranged

All Is Lost Within Fields Of Pain
The Sands Of Time Have Caught Up With Me
I'm The Reason I'm Insane
I Wasn't Even Invited To The Masquerade

I No Longer Hide Behind The Mask
Meet The New Steve
Baptize Me In Faith
Let The Water Cover Me

Water Cleanses My Body
As Grace Cleanses My Soul
I've Let Go Of The Pain
Of Gods Hand I've Taken Hold

Sharing My Pain
Has Eased My Burden
For Trying To Be Sane
Was Once Unheard Of

Fear Played A Role
In My Drunken Masquerade
Prayer Helps To Cleanse My Soul
I'm No Longer Ashamed

I Now See How Vain I Was
Only Thinking Of Myself
For My Pain Was Self Inflicted
I Was Once Nobody
Now I'm Somebody Else

This Somebody Else
Now Minds His Mental Health
I Respect You
As I Respect Myself

I've Left The Masquerade
My Past Is Behind Me
I'm No Longer Ashamed
Of Who I've Come To Be

Reflection Upon Acceptance
     For I Have Changed
Acceptance Of My New Reflection
       Amazing Grace
This Is My Life Re-Arranged....


    AN EMBRYO , MY SOBRIETY

          I've Uncertain Feelings
          Of Starting Over Again
        An Embryo , My Sobriety
         Or Face The Bitter End

I Only Became What I Created
The Life Of Lies I Once Lived
Will The Truth Really Set Me Free
For First Myself , I Must Forgive

The Swelling Of My Pride Has Subsided
I Don't Really Know Who I Am
My Emotions Are Divided
As I Devise A New Plan

No More Chemical Alterations
To Cloud My Thoughts
To Much Mental Masturbation
The Self Inflicted Torture Of Which I Wrought

Extreme Headaches
For I Dare To Detox
An Embryo , My Sobriety
Soon My Pain Shall Stop

A Dark Tunnel
A Faint Ray Of Light
I Push Through The Darkness
To Seek My Sight

Watch Closely Now
As I Crawl Out Of The Abyss
What A Mess I've Made Of My Life
Broken Me Must Get Fixed

I've Cried Out For Help
Signed Myself Into An Institution
They Saved Me From Myself
And Offered Me A Solution

I've Now Crossed The Bridge
To The Unknown Shore Of Sobriety
I Join The Anonymous Ones
For I Seek No Notoriety

I Now Seek Peace Of Mind
Kneeling Down To Pray
Wisely Spending My Time
For I Only Have Today

Something Keeps Me Going
To Meetings Every Day
Prayer Slowly Removes My Pain
For At Peace I Long To Stay

I Never Thought Working A Program Would Work
I Look Through The Same Eyes In A Different Way
Tomorrow Comes Soon Enough
For I Only Have Today

I've Finally Read The Big Book
And Did As I Was Told
I've Found Myself Within The Pages
The Gift Of Sobriety , I Now Behold

One Step At A Time
This Stairway I Climb
Keeps Me In Line
And Brings Peace Of Mind

An Embryo , My Sobriety
     I've Let It Begin
No More Losing Battles
No More Losing My Mind
    This Time I Win

Anomalous And Anonymous
Once We Were Insane
Let Us Become Better People
Than We Were Yesterday......